想念

当你在穿山越岭的另一边  我在孤独的路上没有尽头

一辈子有多少的来不及　发现已经失去最重要的东西
恍然大悟早已远去　为何总是在犯错之后　才肯相信错的是自己
他们说这就是人生　试着体会
试着忍住眼泪　还是躲不开应该有的情绪
我不会奢求世界停止转动　我知道逃避一点都没有用
只是这段时间里　尤其在夜里　还是会想起难忘的事情
我想我的思念是一种病　久久不能痊愈

--思念是一种病

第一次听这首歌只是觉得好听，满有意思的。现在我能体会歌词里的意境了。

开学才两天我就开始想念以前到哪里都有个人做伴的日子。哈哈，我好像没办法如想象中那么独立了。认识四年，朝夕相处两年，习惯是一件还满可怕的事情 （虽然我一年前就在提醒自己）。从早上醒来吃早餐，走路上学，休息，想要吃什么，下课回家，我都觉得一个人好无聊。做东西到想喘口气时，没人听我吐苦水。在家闷到烦想出去走走，一个人太危险。我们的默契好到很多时候不用说，我们能够知道对方想说什么，对方在哪里，又或是做着同一件事。换成其他人，需要跟对方说明，问候，邀请。 对我来说有点难，因为我不喜欢去问，麻烦别人。

大家都爱问我会习惯吗，还好吗，你在那里怎样。通常我只说还好，或者是以笑带过。因为要解释，太长。我没有不好，但也不代表不想念。我一直没跟你说，我很想念你啊朋友！

还有和我们一起四年，从A-level 认识到现在的‘同学’。虽然不常见面说话，可是你们的关心我有收到哦。走在校园里，我有时候还以为我看到你们，想打招呼。

在那么远的地方求学不容易吧，我也要忙我的FYP，一起加油吧  :D 得空要记得找我聊天啊！

200+ lives on a plane, feels like a dejavu to me. MH370 happened not long ago and now woke up and heard that another plane crashed in Ukraine. A reality that hits so hard I hope it's another bad dream. Read on news online, saw the photos of the scene. As the plane broke into pieces, many hearts broke together. My heart goes to those who lost their loved ones. 

     Life can be so fragile, snap away just like that. Who would know that the hug, goodbye, safe journey, see you and enjoy can become the last piece of memory you have with your family or friends. For all Malaysians, we are still wondering and yet to recover from previous incident, and here's another blow. I pray that we stand strong together, that we learn together on forgiveness, kindness, love and reconciliation, that He gives us the strength, wisdom, comfort and peace in a time like this. 

"LOVE bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things." 

21

Twenty one, a number that has been a stop where I wanted to reach so much last time. It brings so many meaning: it means I am an adult and no longer teen; I can make my own decision in life; I get to choose where I want to be; I can drive; I can be like my cousins… 

But when that day comes, I did not feel any more special than other day, it is another ordinary day. I wake up, go class, cook and do work. Many people asked me how it feels like to be 21. I have no answer to that, just feeling normal. 

I would only say that I am a very blessed person. Blessed to be able to live happily, healthily and safely. Blessed to have received many wishes from family and friends. Blessed to know that whatever happens, my family got my back. Blessed to have friends that make a home away from home so warm. We learn, laugh, cry and explore together. 

How I imagined 21 to be and how I exactly felt is very different but who I am right now is no stranger to me. Growth is ongoing process that does not happen in one day. I accumulated wisdom and strength up to this day. Every step and decision I made, I learnt to take responsibility of it. I understand myself better now after falling down, getting hurt and standing up again. Maybe this is what turning 21 means, being ready to venture and take on more from life. 

TQ for the birthday surprise despite all of us being so busy, for the time and effort spent.

TQ for the meal and hang out, simple thing like this meant a lot to me.

TQ for the card, dress and gift. Also, for the care and guidance all this while.

TQ for the shoes, it’s an early surprise but I got your wishes.

TQ for the cake and card, let’s work towards our graduation together.

Needa destress a bit

It's exams season everywhere. As I go through my Facebook newsfeed, I see some just finish, some half way through and mine just started.

It's very common for me to shut myself from everything else other than exams related stuff because my brain capacity a bit overload and it lags. My response can be very slow for simple questions like what is my plan for tomorrow. Staring too long at my notes (paper or on screen) makes me more sleepy than usual. And I can be laughing at some small things that I don't find it funny normal days and then suddenly feel demotivated in the next hour. I guess these are symptoms of stress.When I feel like taking a break, I'll get some snacks, read stories, listen to songs or take a walk. I enjoy looking at scenery: the sky, cloud, tree, grass, lake, fountain. 

I thank God for the friends that I have. We study together and keep each other motivated. We cheer each other up and you would know there's always someone there for you. From last semester to this semester, you have never fail to bring smile to my face. There are times I'm revising and feel hungry when my housemates give me food. Just at the right timing, haha. I remember there are soup, spaghetti and fruits. When I feel bored, you tag me with some funny photos or videos or some nice songs. When I'm having my last paper and you're out celebrating, your texts just made my day. Your concerns (how I'm doing, how's my day, remembering when is my next paper...) warm up my heart. All the smiles, hugs, SMSes, messages etc... They are able to make me smile or laugh and even cheer me up when I look back. Thank you, to all of you =D

Ok, it's time for me to get back to my notes now. Break time over, hehe :) 

Uninstall 2012

Time for some reflection. 

            My last semester for A-level, first semester in uni. Stressed out for six months, holiday for three months. A door is closed, another window opened. So many goodbye hugs and hello handshakes. Have been a senior with survival tips ready at hand, now a junior exploring uni life. Missing my old buddies but enjoying and being blessed by the new family at the same time. Placed full stop to many stories and started new chapters too. 

            So many opposing elements, but I can only say that it’s unavoidable for a transition stage. I guess it is the collision of these opposing elements that grows us, drives us to keep moving on and gives tastes to our memories. How fast things change and how fast time moves! It seems like yesterday when we eat and have fun together. Now, we’re miles apart in different places or even countries. I finished my first semester, it still doesn’t sink into me yet. I’ve tried new things and gained new experiences, expected or unexpected. I thought I have enough but there’s more to come. Yes, 2013 is definitely better for awesome and greater things are yet to come! =)